To Love A King
by PeaceRoseG'ladheon
Summary: Why does Lauren try so hard to seperate Karigan and Zachary? Is she protecting her country? Or is she protecting Karigan? "Not even when she had lost the man who had meant the most to her in her life, had she so seriously considered ending her own."


**This story is based on the scene in First Rider's Call, page 467, when Lauren's power is taking over. **

**"...not even when she had lost the man who had meant the most to her in her life, had she so seriously considered ending her own."**

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She watched him. How he interacted with his subjects; his riders. And not just any of his riders, but Karigan, also. Especially Karigan. Yes, she had seen the growing attraction between her rider and her monarch. She had probably realized it before Zachary himself had. The way their concern for each other had continued to grow. She watched as their bond became stronger and stronger. And she would sever it before it progressed any more. Yes, she would stop it.

And while Lauren watched her king listen to each of his subjects, she found her mind wander from the property dispute to issues that often haunted her mind. Zachary showed no signs of his emotions to his people, but, as his close adviser and old friend, she could tell his mind was distracted from his betrothal. And she knew the source. She had pulled them apart as best she could, destroying letters, becoming a middleman between the two, but she knew how strong love could be. And she hated it. She had known love's wrath, and it had left her broken and hardened.

She thought of only months ago, when her ability had almost run her to commit a desperate act, and how she hadn't felt as hopeless since she had lost _him. _Ah, yes, the man who still caused what was left of her shattered heart to ache, even though he had been gone for so many years. She remembered his golden hair, soft features. The way he had wrapped his arms around her; told her he loved her more than anyone else. She remembered when he had pulled her into him, kissed her forehead; told her he would never let her go.

She also remembered the day he told her he was engaged. And he was married to _her. _The kind, quiet, sweet woman who Lauren loathed with every fibre in her being. The pain that tore through her was just as sharp and deep as the day she saw them swear their vows to the Gods. And as they rode away, she felt her heart painfully slipping away. He was an honest man; a loyal man; and although that was one of the many things she loved about him, it also meant that they could never be together. That night she had held her dagger to her chest, willing herself to slip it between her ribs and end the horrible pain, but she had been unable to do it, and she had sheathed the knife and cried herself to sleep.

And when she discovered that his beautiful wife had parished giving birth to their second child, she was the first to comfort him. She ached when she was near him, and she wanted to throw herself into his arms, but could not bring herself to do it. If she was hurt like that again, she would surely end her own life then and there. So she pulled away from him. But as far as she could move was his beautiful son, the one who transformed into his father with every laugh and shake of his head. She had practically raised the boy.

And Zachary had turned into a fine man. A better king. And although Amilton had become an spolied child and an even worse leader, Zachary had shone in his studies, as well as his sweet and gentle nature. And she had comforted him when his now frail and broken father had passed on. She had held him, told him everything would be alright, and although Zachary was practically her younger brother, she could never quite tell him that she had cared for his father so deeply that she had long since sacrificed her heart to her country, to carry out a stupid betrothal.

"Lauren?" Laurned snapped out of her daydreams. The king himself stood before her, looking quite amused by her absence. "Where were you?" He asked. She looked around and saw that the throne room was free of subjects, leaving just the two of them and the shadows of Weapons. She smiled at him.

"Far away, I must say." The king laughed.

"Well, perhaps you will join me for dinner?" She accepted his offer, and followed him from the throne room. Yes, he held an emotionless exterior, but she knew his feelings for her rider ran deep throughout his soul. And she thought of Karigan. A determined fighter, yes, but weak when it came to love. She would not let Karigan's free spirit be slautered by love's pain. She wouldn't let her get to the point of wanting to end her own life. No, she would protect her. She would protect them both.

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**Thanks for reading!!!!**


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